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It's coming down to being one whirlwind of a week. I've made some major changes in my life, and I've come to a few other realizations as well. Given my creative nature, I'm no longer interested in holding a job that's on a restrictive schedule. At least, not in the capacity of working two jobs. I still need actual work in order to pay my bills while I crank out the remainder of Ravensrealm and Rune Stories: The Daughters of Odin, Volume One, but I also know I need to not be crunched in my time. While I was working two jobs (I've let IHOP go), I had little time for anything. So little time, and I was fighting and clawing for what I wanted and needed in order to just get a sentence or two written down.

And we're moving. It's finally underway, and my challenge here has been to keep my ass calm amidst this chaos of lack of planning and so on. It's crazy. These lessons keep popping up because the people around me refuse to learn from them, and I'm the one caught in the center of it all.

But these are also lessons for me, too. Patience for myself, with myself, and better organization are among them. And refusing to shoulder more than what I need to shoulder.

I am looking at some avenues for income, ones that allow flexibility in scheduling. I also need to take the initiative to shore up money come the dry months, as I deem everything after the first of the year. (January sucks for retailers and restaurants alike.)

Anyway, that's the whirlwind that's my life right now, along with a focus in tending to my spiritual needs.

Now for the title of those post.

Recently, I tried to reconnect with a person I met on Livejournal. It seemed to be going okay at first, but, because I'm this crazy ass weirdo who loves writing as much as it frustrates me, I couldn't shut up about writing. It's kind of a taboo subject with this person, but that's also because I can see how she neglected that wound from her time at attempting to be a writer and, well, a few other things.

One thing she brought up to me was something she'd observed with a family member of her own who loved to do something but no longer engaged in that activity. One thing I've wondered, and I would love to ask her (but I'm also trying to halt all conversations with this person due to her negativity towards writing and her toxic positivity - yes, it is a thing, toxic positivity) is how come she never asked this person to make her something? I actually live in a family of people who like to make things. Though he doesn't actually do anything with it, my brother can come up with a fantastic story line. My sister draws. My mother crochets, and my stepdad likes to knit. (He uses the knitting loops and got me started on that a few years back. It's actually rather fun!) Me? I like to write, I like to learn, and I love baking. I love writing stories as gifts for my friends. I would so love it if a friend told me, hey, for Christmas (or birthday or whatever), could you write me a story? That would be awesome.

One thing I have learned when it comes to people who like to sew, write, draw, crochet, bake, and so on, is that they're willing to do the thing once they know someone out there will appreciate the time and effort put into the task itself. My mother put together a jacket for cosplay for me, a nice velveteen piece for an alternate costume for Fayt Leingod (based on a fanfiction story I'd started to nurture). Everyone who has seen me in that jacket has loved it. It's incomplete, too, but I love it. My mother hates it, but then she knows where her mistakes are in the garment. Does it matter to me it's incomplete and that there are mistakes? No. I love it. I chose the material and the buttons and paid for those myself. I will wear that jacket at every convention I go to because it's what I wanted, my mother put the time and effort into it, and no one else knows where those mistakes are, anyway. I asked my mother almost two years ago (it'll be two years December 25) that she did know if she crocheted me stuff for Christmas that I'd be happy, right? She did that last Christmas for all of us, and it was the most peaceful Christmas I'd experienced in a long time, all because I didn't have to hear, "Sorry there's not a lot under the tree this year, but we just didn't have enough money".

If you know someone who likes to crochet or knit or sew and the holidays are coming up, ask them if they'd be willing to make you something for Christmas, even if you know they haven't done the activity in a certain amount of time. If they tell you 'no', it's one thing, but, man, just knowing that someone out there would appreciate that effort makes two worlds of difference for that person.

And, yes, I want to ask this person why she hasn't asked this family member to make her something. I just haven't because I don't expect an answer back from this person, and, despite the number of years that have gone by, in some ways, she hasn't changed. I'm not interested in being friends with those who wish to remain stagnant and closed off from those who are different from them, be it on a political or spiritual or even career scale. I've lost interest in being right but have gained more in being wrong because at least then I'm learning, I'm growing, and I'm becoming a better person for it.

This is a strange entry from me. And I love it.

Once the move is over and we get things settled, I aim to post more.

Have a great holiday weekend, everyone!

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