Throwback Thursday/Giving Thanks, Thorsday - The Homeless Experience

Welcome to Thursday/Thors Day, my friends and fellow writers!

This is going to sound so odd to so many people.

In some ways, I miss being homeless and being in Philadelphia.

Yes. It's odd.

Now, mind you, I don't miss the not knowing what to do with my belongings at 5 am or the worry that someone's going to find where I've hidden my belongings and steal stuff from me. I don't miss going days on end without a shower and having security officers harass me because I have nowhere else to go and I've just sat down with a cup of coffee that was either free thanks to some group's hospitality or because I managed to find enough change on the ground to buy one. (Or because I bought some instant with my food stamps and managed to get a cup of hot water for free.) I don't miss having to work at saving up enough personal hygiene products, either. I don't miss any of that. I don't (usually) miss being unemployed and not having a steady income.

So why am I saying that I miss something about it? See, my current work schedule bringing back some very fond memories. As of this moment in time, I work for an Ihop restaurant that opened back in October. I'm scheduled 6 am to 2 pm, and I work every weekend. Some days I end up going over, due to the amount of business we get. And, when I lived in Philly, I was up before 5 am every single day. This past Saturday, as I was going about getting things ready for the shift, I was hit with the nostalgia for soup. I wanted some soup.

At 6 am.

From Saint Mark's.

You see, some of the friends I made started to make sure I knew where I could go to get out of the cold and where I could get food without having to rely on my food stamps all of the time. Saint Mark's offered a brief respite for the homeless and served soup at 6 am. It's an odd choice for breakfast, but, when you're cold and hungry, you will eat pretty much whatever is served to you. Soup on a cold winter's morning actually hit the spot.

It's been almost a year since I left Philadelphia and that life behind. I do kick myself for not sticking things out a little longer, that I'd misinterpreted some good intentions on a family member's part, but I am also quite thankful for all that has happened in the last year. I can face leaving things behind now whereas last year, at this time, I couldn't.

So a throwback to an old life and a time for thanks. I really am thankful for where my life has led me, the things I have learned. I've faced some pretty dark things as a homeless women but I've also faced some dark things, dark times living with family and coming to understand what it is that I do and don't need. If not for heading to Seattle then to Philadelphia, if not for some ever present fear when I first published Portal to Gaming (wow, what a lifetime ago), I wouldn't have uncovered the fact I was living a "safe" life due to someone else's fears. This is an eye-opener for me.

For all that I've experienced as a homeless woman, I am grateful.